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  • Writer's pictureKirk

Land of the Lost part 2

I can't believe once again I was faced with the same dilemma. The same women continue to haunt me in my travels and I find myself once more on the precipice of a big decision. Should I jump or not?

I left you last week with the circumstances that led me here:

Why can't these aberrations of nature just leave me alone? I'm trying to simply mind my own business and enjoy the fruits of nature, but they are intent on destroying my life.

Now I stand here on the ledge, one more time between a rock

A hard place,

And a wet place,

Which gate to choose?

I remembered my earlier leap off the ledge at Hedogenia. That did not end well. I also remembered my encounter with the witch doctor, which also did not end well, but I also remembered I survived each incident. Through my wits and calmness in the face of disasters I was able to survive. Perhaps it was finally time to stop running? Time to face my demons.

As I stood here on the ledge contemplating my next action, the angrier I became. How can I let my nemesises control my life as they have done? What did I do to them to deserve this? And the more I thought about it the angrier I got. No more running. And certainly no more jumping from these dangerous ledges.

I turned my back to the water and headed toward my foes. I was mad as hell and I wasn't going to take it anymore. This was going to end on this day. I wasn't sure of the outcome, but I was no longer afraid, only determined to end this.

If you remember, the conclusion of my Mars adventure, you will remember the quantum leap machine that Chrysanthum (the name of the Supreme Leader, also known as €€¥), had created to jump through space.

I had also created my own quantum leap machine, but I foolishly left it behind when I transported myself to Mars. She was not as careless as I was, and she had brought hers with her. Knowing that she was more clever than I, I knew that she must have her machine with her now. So I set out in search.

I went back to the spot where I had seen €€¥ (her new adopted name as you recall -much like the artist formerly known as Prince), because I knew that she would not stray far from her machine. I knew if things went badly for her for some reason, she would want to be in close proximity so she could make her great escape.

There was an elevated area, not far from where I had last approached her. I went to the highest point I could find to look around and there I saw a bunch of branches, leaves and dirt, all heape up into a mound and a place that looked suspicious. I thought to myself, could it be?

Hastily I ran to the place I had viewed from above. I began to pull the branches in the leaves, and the dirt, and everything that had been piled upon the mound away, and then I saw it. I had found it. The coveted quantum leap machine.

No, I had never operated her machine, but I had experience with mine. Although all the buttons and knobs were in different places, they still serve the same functions as mine. So I began to study in depth to make sure that I knew how to work her machine. Then I noticed a small cabinet above the machine. I opened it, and what do you know, there it was, the owner's manual!

Now I was in business. I sat there, and I began to read it. But then I was alarmed by some movements within the land of the lost. She had seen me. She knew that I had found her machine, and now she was running towards me. She was a sight to see as she came at me full speed. She looked like Meadowlark Lemon from the Harlem Globetrotters with her huge bosoms bouncing as she ran, like Meadowlark dribbling two basketballs at the same time.

It was a hideous site to be sure. But at the same time I couldn't look away. All that would run through my head was why couldn't she harness those mamalian protuberances? I mean really, does she really think she looks good like that? This was one car accident I had to turn my head away from. I had a more pressing need at this time, and that was to be able to work this machine before she made it to me.

I had to throw the manual out and go by instinct now. No time for reading. No time for gazing. Let's end this thing now.

I quickly set the dials to the correct frequencies and amplitudes to where I thought it would send her far away from me. I then took the pointer thingy and pointed it at her and turned the knob to maximum. A bolt ejected from the wand and hit her. But oh no! It only struck her left breast, and suddenly it was gone. She looked much less like Meadowlark Lemon now and more like Curly from the Globetrotters. Curly, the baldheaded wonder who could spin a basketball like I've never seen anyone else do. That's what she looked like with her bald head, and her single right breast spinning now as she was out of balance.

I couldn't help but giggle for a moment. But I quickly stopped myself because I knew the dangers that still lie ahead of me. Once again, I changed the amplitude and frequency on the knobs, pointed the wand at her and turned it to maximum again. But just as I did, her right breast popped up and intercepted the path of the beam. Bam! Just like that her right breast disappeared. Now she looked much more hideous, but she was able to run much faster without all that added weight bouncing around. She was quickly gaining ground on me.

One last time, I turned the knobs to a different frequency and a different amplitude. But she was almost upon me now. I figured I was too late. She was striking me with both fists, so I couldn't see what I was doing. So blindly, I reached out with my last strength, turned the knob and stuck the wand into her belly.

Just like that she was gone. With this immediate danger behind me I now had time to look at the logs that the machine kept to find out what had happened to her. Turns out I sent her a left breast Venus, her right breast to Mars, and the rest of her to Uranus, a fitting place for that ass.

I began to congratulate myself on my success, but I didn't have time because I heard another noise from behind me. Here came the witch doctor, and she looked frantic. She had seen what I had done to my other foe, and she knew the power of the machine. Knowing I was coming after her next, she wanted to strike the first blow.

She approached me, and she raised her witch doctor stick, the same one which turned me into a pig here:

But I was ready for her. I had already set the amplitude and the frequency dials, and pointed my wand at her and engaged the switch. But I wasn't quite quick enough. Simultaneously, the energy came from both of our wands and they met together halfway between us.

Now this looked like a scene out of Harry Potter. When Harry Potter faced his nemesis, the man whose name cannot be spoken (Voltimor-yeah I'm coming for you next) and the energy from their wands met and struggled for dominance. But I was losing this battle. Was her magic more powerful than my science?

It was very serious now as now I was only a few feet from destruction. What would she turn me into this time, I wondered? But then suddenly I noticed I didn't have the dial to maximum. I only turned it to some intermediate level. I quickly recovered from my mistake and turned it to maximum. That turned the tide, and the energy of science was now working its way towards her.

I could see the panic arise as she saw that she was losing this battle. It didn't take but 30 seconds or less, and the power of the quantum machine had overcome her wand. The wand had disappeared from her hand, and was transported to what I later found out to be a crater on the moon.

She stood there, defenseless before me now. She hung her head and began to sob uncontrollably. She reminded me of Jimmy Swaggart as he delivered his "I have sinned" speech on TV. And I expect she was equally insincere. She had lost, and now she was simply seeking mercy. What should I do? Should I send her to her fate on some lonesome planet? Should I send her to Uranus where she can console my foe €€¥? Or should I just leave her groveling before my feet?

I decided enough was enough. I didn't want to face her anymore. I didn't know if she could go back to her island and make another voodoo stick and come back for me again or not. So I didn't choose the path of mercy.

One last time I started up the machine, pointed the wand at her and zap, she was gone. But I did not send her to an end fate of loneliness. I sent her also to Uranus so at least she could have the company of one person.

Of course the planet is not habitable, and they both likely perished in the millisecond they arrived. But hey, at least I was going to sleep well tonight. 😜

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Roger Wells
Roger Wells
Mar 10
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.



Mike Wells
Mike Wells
Mar 08
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Bringing the Harlem Globetrotters into the story was interesting perspective. The thought of those two crazy people behind you is going to let you sleep well at night

Mar 10
Replying to

Yeah I don’t know how those guys popped in my head

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