On one of my trips to the Western Sahara desert, I was riding a camel through the most arid area of this wasteland. That morning I had packed two liter bottles of Dasani water and thought surely that would be enough to get me to the other side. I mean, camels are fast aren't they? Besides, I didn't think the desert was all that big. It only took up two inches on my map after all.
So off I was on my desert adventure trying to find the lost treasures of Lawrence of Arabia. It didn't take long for me to realize I was in the wrong desert. Lawrence was stationed in Jordan, not Africa. And you know what? I found out later he didn't even lose a treasure! Oh well.
After a few hours in the desert sun I began to have second thoughts. What was I thinking? I knew nothing about desert adventures, how could I survive this? I didn't even have a compass as I always relied on my iPhone GPS. No good out here!
But, without any real direction, me and my trusty camel trudged on:
After another hour it turned out my camel wasn't so trusty. He just lay down and refused to get up. I coaxed and coaxed him, but to no avail:
Well that camel might as well have been a mule. He was as stubborn as one. I gave him one last appeal with the happiest face I could muster:
(Never mind those pyramids in the background. It's just a desert mirage)
Nothing! He wouldn't budge. So then I made the fateful decision to finish my adventure on foot. What else could I do?
At this point I still had one of my two liter bottles of water. I was just going to have to ration this bottle until I found a nice well or an oasis. I mean there has to be plenty of those in the desert aren't there?
I realized within a few hours how wrong I was. No oasis, no wells, no water, and now I'm down to my last swallow. Panic time! How could I be so foolish to think these two bottles would last me through this desert adventure? But nothing I could do now. Just trudge on.
By now it was getting cooler. Yes it can get cold in the desert. I put on my sweatshirt and drank my last swallow of water. And kept walking...
And walking.....
And walking.....
Until I couldn't walk any more. I collapsed. The fatigue and lack of water had taken its toll. And that camel, if he hadn't been so stubborn I probably would have been out of this mess by now. But now, not having the strength to walk I crawled.
Ok, this was getting serious now! I knew I couldn't last much longer. But I'm not the person who gives up easily either. So I continued to crawl..,
And crawl...
And crawl..,,
Until finally! A well! Oh glory be! A wonderful water well in the desert. My ordeal would soon be over. I would drink my fill and then fill my two one liter bottles and continue until I was out of this hell hole. But.....
The well was dry! Oh no! A dry well in the desert. Who would have predicted? Now this was getting serious.
Where is my blasted camel? Probably drinking his fill in some remote oasis he didn't want to share with me. I can see him now laying around with all his oasis camel buddies just laughing it up. "Yeah, I just dumped that stupid American off in the middle of the desert. What an idiot! Why doesn't he mind his own business? What does he think, he can save the world or something?" And then all his camel buddies would be just a yukking it up at my expense.
Well, that motivated me to keep moving. I was going to get out of here and go find that camel! Camel burgers for dinner tonight.
But I didn't know how much further I could go on. I had been going like this for two days now. I knew I was near my end. Maybe I had one more 1/4 mile in me at best.
But then suddenly, out of no where there it was! An end to my suffering appeared from thin desert air!
Really, no Dasani?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Your film crew did a fabulous job documenting your disastrous yet very funny adventure. Glad you made it out in one piece to write about it.
I am thinking that your next job in life is possibly being an actor . Possibly taken Alec Baldwin in his last role. His legal issues may put you in as a replacement