I know this one sounds a bit crazy, but I figured it out. After immersing myself in books on quantum physics I learned how to do a quantum leap.
I built this machine that could control the quantum mechanics necessary to transport me to other places. Not wanting to travel too far on my first trip, I chose a nearby planet. Mercury sounded boring, and I didn't believe the story about women being from Venus (is it true?), so I decided on Mars. What a strange adventure!
I set the dials appropriately using the precise calculations I had made, then I hit the button. Instantaneously I arrived at my destination in the Sea of Tranquility. No wait, that's on the moon. I guess I was in Valles, Marine, the famous canyon on Mars. But I wasn't sure because I forgot to pack a Mars Rand McNally. Oh well, I'll wing it!
Well, now what do I do? I guess I really didn't think this one out properly. But so far I'm lucky! I didn't believe in all that crap about no oxygen on Mars and I was right! I didn't pack a space suit and I was just fine. I knew them NASA nuts didn't know what they were talking about.
See, no suit or helmet required.
But now what? I'm here on Mars but I have no idea where to go. Besides, I forgot that when I did the leap that my machine did not leap with me. Without that, how will I get home? Oh well, that's for another day. Sufficient for today to find some food and water. They have restaurants here don't they? My phones not working so I can't use my yelp app right now. Maybe when I get out of this canyon I'll have better coverage.
I eventually made my way out of the Valles Marine, but still no cell coverage. How was I going to get an Uber now? Alright, I'll just walk awhile. Something will eventually show up.
Well, I fully charged my phone prior to my leap so I was able to take some great Mars landscape shots. Just not much to see other than sand and rock:
I had walked for hours in this unchanging terra. Then suddenly it became much more rocky. This made the walk more cumbersome.
Then the rock formations just got weird. And still no cell coverage. Really AT&T had no towers here? Why am I paying for this plan?
The rocks now began to take form. They even began to look like mushrooms, but maybe it was just my hunger at the time:
Now I came upon some more structured formations in the rock:
I was sure these were some sort of Martian made structures. But did they live here? I just didn't know. But I knew I was in a special place. A place where Martian's may live.
So I began to yell. "Here Martian Martian Martian!", I called. What else could I do?
Then suddenly one appeared. Such a hideous creature too! But I'm sure she/he thought the same of me;
I mean, don't they believe in bras here?
Well, what do you say to a Martian? I don't even know how to say hello in Martian. And since I couldn't connect to the internet, I couldn't use my translation app. So I said the only thing I could think of, the old trite line I heard in so many sci-fi B movies, "Take me to your leader!"
Strange, but the Martian seemed to understand. SheHe/It/Them (any other politically correct terms I forgot?), then turned and began to walk, as if leading me. I followed. I needed to find this leader of the Martians and make my plea for help. Maybe they had a spare quantum leap machine I could use?
I followed the Martian to the leader. Wow! What a surprise! I mean this gal really gets around! I had seen her before a couple of times.
And now she was here. Her schoolteacher sister must have created their own quantum leap machine. She was no longer content to be the wizard of The Secret Garden. And now she sits as the Supreme Leader of Mars. Will I ever rid myself of her in my travels?
To be continued......