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  • Writer's pictureKirk

My Mother who Loved a Potato (a fictional Friday post)

When I was a child we practically lived on potatoes. We had them almost every night. My mother served them every way you can imagine. Mashed potatoes, whipped potatoes, au gratin potatoes, hash browns, French fries, and on and on....



We ate potatoes like the Asians ate rice. Every day and most every meal. If you eat something that much, you grow to depend on it and it becomes one of your favorite foods. After awhile, you feel like you're drowning in potatoes:



Sure I loved potatoes. I don't eat them nowadays because I avoid the Carbohydrates. But I still love the taste of potatoes in any way or form that they're cooked. But when I say, I love potatoes, I just simply mean that I love the taste of potatoes. I love to eat potatoes. It doesn't mean I want to marry them or anything.


But not my mother. She cooked them a lot when she was younger, but after all the kids were gone from the house, she suddenly stopped. I was never quite sure the reason why she decided to stop cooking and eating potatoes at the time, but recently I found out.


I think it was shortly after my father passed away that I saw a strange behavior develop with my mother. Often when I went to visit her she would have a potato in her hand. But not in an ordinary way. It was more as if she was gently caressing it.


Sometimes I even thought I heard her talking to her potato in hand. Things I thought I heard were gently whispered phrases like, "everything will be alright my dear" or "don't worry I won't let anyone harm you, honey".


But I dismissed the phrases as simply an over avtive imagination on my part. Surely she would never whisper such sweet nothings in the ears of her potato.


Well, over time her behavior just became more bizarre. I could see her slowly, growing more and more attached to her potato in hand. In fact, one day, I thought I would play a trick on her. She had put her potato down on the table to leave for a moment, and when she returned, I thought I would play a prank on her that I had played on my daughter many years ago. If you remember from my hamsters, revenge story here.

I would often prank my younger daughter about her hamster. When she come home from school, I would often ask her if her hamster like to play on it's back with its feet in the air.

So,I tried this silly prank with my mother, and I asked her when she returned if her potato liked to do the same thing.



Well, she freaked out on me! She began to scream hysterically and run around in circles, arms flailing. Big tears began to come down her face and I knew then I had over pranked on this one.


I quickly ran to the place where I hid her potato and brought it to her to show her. Her potato was just fine. It took a few moments, but she finally calmed down and grabbed the potato from me in a violent manner. I could tell that she was not amused at my joke.

It was then I began to have the discussion with her that I felt that she was having a very unhealthy relationship with her potato. but it's as if I was speaking to the potato itself. She just ignored every word I said, and just continued to gently stroke her potato.


After that, she never left her potato alone again. She carried it with her everywhere that she went. In fact, she even slept with it in her chair.


See? You thought I was making this whole story up didn't you? She even put a silly hat and pasted ears on the side of it as well as putting those silly pants on it. I knew then, there was no coming back for her. She, and that potato would be together for the rest of her life.

Eventually, she ended up marrying that potato. But I knew that potato was only in it for her extensive fortune. There goes my inheritance. The family jewels are now all going to the potato.



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Mike Wells
Mike Wells
26 de abr.
Avaliado com 5 de 5 estrelas.

Mr Potato head I always had wondered where Mrs potato head was and now I know

She lives in Wilton Maine. What a great story I hope your mom was amused by this

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Kirk
Kirk
26 de abr.
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I hope she is too! I don’t think she knows about it yet

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