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  • Writer's pictureKirk

The Cabinet Kids (A Fictional Friday Post)

My grandkids live in cabinets. I know this sounds strange and maybe even abusive, but that's where they live. It’s their choice.

It all started when the oldest of the three kids, Bubby, began to explore the cabinets in his home. At first, he was just intrigued by the opening and closing of doors, as most kids are at that age.

But soon he began exploring. He found out he could close himself inside and enjoy the serenity of no parents. More and more he took to the cabinets as a place to hang out. It was as if he was living the life of a small mouse, trying to stay out of sight by the rest of the household.

Soon after his two younger sisters were born, they mimicked his behavior. All finding refuge within the confines of the cabinets. Not just the kitchen ones, but anywhere they could find cabinets.

Always hiding from the outside world, they slowly conformed to cabinet living.

Soon they even brought a little potty in the cabinets so they would never have to go out for that necessity.

Life was a little compact for these three little munchkins but they learned to maximize their space within the confines. They actually grew very close to one another over the years.

But, this became quite embarrassing for their parents. When I would come to visit I would always ask where are the grandkids, to which my daughter would sheepishly reply, “In the cabinets.”

Well I just thought the whole thing was ridiculous, so I called child protective services on their behalf. I mean, this has to be some kind of abuse, right?

When protective services showed up at the door the next week, the ladies saw three happy kids living in the cabinets. All well fed and healthy. One of the ladies proclaimed she had never seen such happy children in her work experience and then proceeded to scold me for wasting her time. “There’s no law against living in cabinets”, she said.

Well, I guess she put me in my place! I guess I never considered their happiness. I was only concerned with mine. I mean, I missed my grandkids and would hardly ever see them when I visited.

I thought eventually they would grow out of this crazy behavior, but the years passed and they still remain within the cabinets. Occasionally they would come visit me, but I had to clear everything from my cabinets so they would have a place to stay. I even installed a small TV under the kitchen cabinets.

I know how strange and abusive this story sounds, but at least it’s an improvement from the days they were tied to the tree!

Poor kids!

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Mike Wells
Mike Wells
May 31
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

As long as they are healthy I guess living in clean conditions are a safe place to live. I hope the grandchildren will read these blogs later in life and enjoy them.

May 31
Replying to

I read them to them as bedtime stories now. They love them….my daughter…not so much.

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