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  • Writer's pictureKirk

Manspread Alert!

Updated: Oct 31, 2023

There's nothing like being packed in a plane with 200 people separated by inches. Everyone's bad behavior is applified and frustrations mount. Especially, but not always, in coach.

I have seen my share of bad behavior. There is the knee guy who likes to insert his knee in the back of my chair. Then there's the recliner guy who wants to take that two inches at the expense of the guy behind him. Sure he's entitled to it, but really?

There's the guy who likes to put his feet up high on the bulkhead when seated upfront. Then there's the guy who removes his shoes and elevates his feet in your space.

There's the guy who coughs and hacks all flight rarely covering his mouth. There's the guy who thinks in flight is a good time to floss his teeth and clip his fingernails. He doesn't have time for personal hygiene at his house?

The man who has essentially two carry on items and puts them both in the overhead, thereby ensuring the last to board has to check their luggage. And the guy who puts his stuff in the overhead way up front in the plane so you don't have easy access to your bag above your seat.

The guy who talks on his phone too loudly during take off and landing. Or plays his video without aid of earphones, somehow thinking everyone else wants to listen to his garbage movie or music.

Of course, there's the entitled guys who believe they deserve special treatment because they paid $300 for an airline ticket. Somehow they are entitled to more than everyone else who did the same.

But then there's the Manspreader. This guy not only wants his small piece of real estate on the plane, but wants to infringe on your space too. That's what I experienced two days ago on my flight.

I knew when he approached my row and took the middle seat he would be a special case. You just get a feeling sometimes.

Normally my Executive Platinum status allows for my first class upgrade to clear on American Airlines, but this time, sadly, no. To the back of the plane for my 2 1/2 hour flight. And a full flight too!

Mr Manspread took his seat between me and another lady seated by the window. Being a big guy I knew he would be a challenge. He immediately took both armrests for himself, but I'm ok with that. I follow the protocol of middle seat guy gets the armrests. But he didn't stop there. He infringed his arm further in my seat. No way Jose! Not allowed! I pushed back and he retreated.

But then came the Manspread. That's a term to describe a guy who opens his legs up to infringe on the limited leg space of his neighbors. He did it to me and the lady, but my personality is not accommodating to this behavior. I did my own manspread version and pushed back. So he retreated from my side and infringed more on the lady.

I tried to discreetly photo and film but it's hard without looking like a pervert.

Hard to see but this poor woman had to move far to the window to avoid this manspread.

She turns her back to him. I knew she was frustrated but most people have more reserve than I do and would never push back or say anything.

I'm not sure how well this video shows it, but a clear breach of property line!

I considered going to bat for her and waking this man to inform him of his violation, but I thought better of it. People really need to stick up for themselves. I'm tired of being called the hall monitor (I always wanted that job in school but never got it. I think I would have been better than Sponge Bob).

It went on like that until he awoke but even then he only slightly retreated. Manspreaders! There should be a law against it. Or at least the lady should be able to claim a partial refund because she did not get the space she rented on this flight.

I know some people who are morbidly obese infringe on your space on a plane. Most can't afford to buy two seats or buy a first class seat. I've had two occasions when it's happened to me when they were apologetic even before they sat down. Although I still feel I paid for my real estate so it's my territory, I did not complain. In these cases I felt badly for them, even though I have a huge repulsiveness touching body parts of strangers. I can make allowances when it's unintentional. But manspreading does not fit this category. I think a mandatory one year airline ban is fitting penalty.

What do you think?

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